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Out….and safe

September 21, 2010

It’s been a rough day for the gays—Senate Republicans still prefer felons to LGBTs when it comes to military service; Jodie Foster defends Mel Gibson—but here’s some good news (admittedly a few days old) from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Cardinals indicate they will treat gay Kiss Cam request like any other.

Lest we get too grateful, the Cardinals’ official position, in response to a specific request from representatives of an LGBT group to be featured on the Kiss Cam during an “OUT at the Ballpark” event, was simply that they never took requests for the Kiss Cam, and they’d stick to that policy in this case as well. A spokesman for the team, noting that they were receiving calls both for and against the notion of showing same-sex couples on the Kiss Cam, gave this ringing endorsement of the all-American ideal of equality: “No matter what we do tomorrow, we can’t win.”

Nonetheless, you’ll be unsurprised to learn that the homophobes read “Cardinals….will treat gay Kiss Cam request like any other” as “Cardinals will grant extra-special privileges to godless sodomites in the interest of corrupting innocent children and making the baby Jesus cry.” Here’s a sampling of what the red-blooded Amurricans had to say in the comment thread (as always, reproduced with all original grammatical flourishes, and not including a handful that were axed from the site for their over-the-top hate speech):

Wear a red t-shirt that says… ‘gay carninal fan’ so they konw who you are… now if a man with his wife and 2 small kids happen to knock you on your ass… I’m ok with that…

Get rid of the kiss cam then you get rid of the 200 flamers demanding to flaunt their perversion. Gay Pride Day at the ballpark can the Cardinals really afford to have an empty stadium and how many of the real men who are the players would refuse to play. Last of all, commit an act of perversion in front of my kids and suffer the consequences. I WILL go to jail if necessary to protect my kids from perversion being on display in front of them at the ballpark in a park or where ever.

This isn’t California. Keep the deviant behavior in the closet – not in front of families.

This is like the ground zero mosque debate. Sure, two guys/gals have the right to kiss IMO, but does that need to be on public display in a ballpark? We have the right to have other sex acts too, but there won’t be a Lewinsky Cam or a glory hole cam in the mens room. A ballpark is not the palce for film of everything every person has the right to do.

We’ve seen this theme—the fear of Man’s Last Safe Space being violated by women, queers, and other not-sufficiently-manly types—before, but I’m immensely entertained by the specific ways this story sent the homophobes into a hyperbolic whirlwind. Most of the objectors swore that they’d never, ever buy another ticket to a Cardinal game if the team consented to show same-sex kisses, a position that intrigues me for a couple of reasons. First, I’m dying to know how many of these folks will stick to their guns when and if the team starts winning again; it’s easy (and, frankly, tempting) to boycott a streaky, moody club that isn’t going to the postseason. Second, I’m tickled to death that these dudes would rather cede their territory completely than have it infected by The Gay. Their dedication isn’t to the game of baseball, but to the cultural construct of baseball as a testosterone-only zone—yet I imagine they’d be the first to say that my girlfriend and my sister and my mother and I aren’t real baseball fans like they are.

Let’s not neglect one more important point: The Kiss Cam is completely and insultingly idiotic, no matter who’s locking lips on screen. I’ll rant in some future post about the proliferation of irritating ballpark gimmicks designed to make the game more palatable to people with short attention spans; for now, though, if the Kiss Cam can’t be banished entirely, at least it can be an equal-opportunity embarrassment.

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