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Maple bats and missed opportunities

September 21, 2010

Here’s something you need to know about Midwesterners: At our cores, we’re really, really nice. Ridiculously nice. Incurably nice.

Yes, the Cardinals and the Cubs are bitter, age-old rivals, but the truth of the matter is that we don’t hate each other—we can’t, no matter how hard we try. We’ll never hope to achieve the level of pure loathing that Yankees and Red Sox fans have mastered, and a Cards fan will probably never shoot a Cubs fan dead in the stadium parking lot, which is what happened the first time I ever attended a Dodgers-Giants game in Los Angeles.

So I suspect I’m speaking for all of Cardinal Nation when I say with total sincerity: Get well soon, Tyler Colvin.

If you haven’t heard, Colvin, in Sunday’s Chicago-Florida game, suffered the injury that everyone in the galaxy has been predicting since maple bats became the norm in the big leagues. Colvin was leading off third when Cubs’ catcher Welington Castillo hit a sharp double to left. Castillo’s bat splintered, and one shard of it flew down the third-base line and punctured Colvin in the chest, sending him to the emergency room and ending his season. MLB.com has the story and video here.

Given that Colvin’s going to be okay, and given that four million other bloggers will be writing and we-told-you-so-ing about the dangers of maple bats, I’d simply like to use this space to say that if this incident had to happen, I’m only sorry it couldn’t have been Vladimir Guerrero at the plate….because I would really have liked to title this post “Vlad the Impaler.”

Best wishes, Tyler.

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