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I am aware of all internet traditions

June 16, 2011

The news from Washington lately is pathetic and infuriating, and I’m not talking about Anthony Weiner. I’m talking about the Cardinals, who have lost two games in rapid succession and utterly humiliating fashion to the Nationals. The sticks they’re wielding are simply pathetic, their pitches regularly miss their targets, and their defense is ludicrous.

Huh. So we’re talking about the Cardinals and Anthony Weiner. This calls for non-specific rehab stints, and possibly resignations, all around.

My cat, Wilbur, and I are sufficiently dejected by the past week’s events that we’ve been reduced to relying on cheap, overplayed internet memes, which I enthusiastically recommend to other fans of under-performing teams as emotional outlets and sources of empathy during tough times. Not in the mood to watch the Nationals celebrate their 10-0, four-homer clobberfest on Wednesday night? Neither is the Royal Wedding Girl.

Annoyed by Ryan Theriot’s habit of booting plays at shortstop and forcing the Cards’ pitchers to get extra outs? Hey, even Ozzie Smith would have had trouble finding the ball if it’d been obscured by an unexpected squirrel!

Tired of Ryan Franklin absorbing the brunt of Cardinal Nation’s criticism when he’s hardly alone in his suckage and he’s doing the best he can and struggling to succeed in the untenable and ill-defined role assigned to him by a manager and a pitching coach who no longer trust him but refuse to cut him loose and all anybody does is write a bunch of crap about him? I know, right?

We’re really on a roll now! Let’s not stop until Tony opens his next late-inning visit to the mound with “I’m happy for you, Jaime, and I’m’a let you finish, but…..”

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Matt permalink
    June 17, 2011 9:20 am

    Ready to make an offer for Jason Bartlett yet?

    • June 17, 2011 10:59 am

      Let’s see…..

      Theriot: .296 BA, .347 OBP, 13 errors in 61 games

      Bartlett: .259 BA, .319 OBP, 11 errors in 61 games

      …….no.

  2. June 19, 2011 5:08 pm

    I love royal wedding girl!

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