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The Real Wives of Big-League Baseball

December 1, 2011

HardballTalk’s Craig Calcaterra did the onerous work of watching the premiere of VH1’s Baseball Wives so that I didn’t have to add one more hour of televised trash to the shameful lineup already stinking up my Tivo. According to Craig, the show is precisely what you’d expect: Current and former wives and girlfriends of mostly B-level big leaguers, crammed into a house with plenty of beauty products and primed with alcohol for maximum mental instability and catfighting.

Well, thank goodness! It’s high time that we got past the tired stereotype of “baseball wives” as stuffy professorial types with meaningful careers, modest tastes, deep-rooted progressive values, and the same hair color they were born with.

I decided to cast my own version of Baseball Wives, as a reminder to all of us that there are plenty of exceptionally inspiring and high-achieving women married to Major Leaguers. Take a look at these five, just for a start:

  • Josh Beckett’s wife, Holly Fisher Beckett, did graduate work in aerospace engineering before landing a job with Boeing. Needless to say, as soon as the interwebs got wind of the fact that her degree was in something other than Communications or Hospitality, they fell all over themselves writing headlines that called her a “brainy beauty,” a “rocket scientist,” and a “genius.” If she’s really a rocket scientist, the Red Sox should draft her immediately to help diagnose the epic crash and burn that ended their 2011 season.
  • Milessa Muchmore, new wife of Jed Lowrie, doesn’t just have one of the coolest names in the big leagues—she also has one of those resumes that makes you realize what a loser you are by comparison. Muchmore has degrees in Spanish, international relations, and public affairs from Stanford and Princeton, won a National Merit Scholarship in high school, starred as an NCAA pole vaulter, and works for the U.S. State Department. Jed’s working on his own degree in political science, thus pole-vaulting these two into the lead as baseball’s most unapologetically intellectual couple. (Bonus: Check out their 1940s-themed engagement photos and tell me you don’t secretly want to be their friend.)
  • The ring Jon Garland won with the White Sox in 2005 is nice, but his longtime girlfriend, softball standout Lovie Jung (pictured), is the one with the serious hardware: Two Olympic medals (one gold and one silver), two World Championship medals (gold), two Pan-Am Games medals (gold), and a couple of college World Series appearances for good measure. Lovie retired from her career as a second basewoman after the 2008 Olympics and now works as a firefighter; according to the personal statement on her bio page, she loves her pit bull, takes her own shopping bag to the grocery store so as not to waste trees, is exhausted by people who talk too much, and, apparently, remains loyal to the Angels no matter what uniform Jon’s wearing at any given moment. Move over, Mia Hamm.
  • Pedro Martinez hasn’t pitched since 2009, but if Baseball Wives can include Ron Villone’s wife, I can sure as heck include Carolina Cruz de Martinez. She worked as a reporter at ESPN for a while, having earned a master’s degree in journalism, but for the last two years she’s managed an amazing nonprofit organization called Hay Poder en Aprender (There Is Power in Learning) in Pedro’s home town of Manoguayabo, Dominican Republic. Click the link to see the full list of inspiring initiatives they’ve undertaken, including job training and microloans, teen pregnancy prevention, and a broad lineup of educational opportunities ranging from math to writing to art. No word on whether the curriculum includes lessons on how to deck septuagenarians.
  • Prince Fielder’s wife, Chanel Fielder, may not boast as flashy a list of accomplishments as some of the other baseball wives in this post, and I have to assess a penalty for her role in naming the Fielder kids Jadyn and Haven, but I like her. She’s a nurse, she seems remarkably unwrecked by the spoils of being married to a star slugger, and she was singlehandedly responsible for turning Prince (who starred in a McDonalds cheeseburger commercial as a child) into baseball’s most famous vegetarian.

What do you say? Let’s put these five in a house together and watch them have interesting conversations while eating garden burgers! Where’s that Tivo remote?

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. December 1, 2011 12:02 pm

    Hear hear …. or is that here here!

  2. December 1, 2011 12:10 pm

    I would watch that. Totally. 100 percent.

    • December 1, 2011 12:16 pm

      TooSoxy, your blog is making me laugh. Want to trade links?

      • December 1, 2011 12:44 pm

        um. sure! no one has ever asked me that before. i feel like this is a step or something.

      • December 1, 2011 12:56 pm

        I figure, if you like it, then you oughtta put a link to it.

  3. badmamainphilliesjamas permalink
    December 1, 2011 2:05 pm

    Just found this blog via HBT . . . looking forward to checking in regularly!

  4. December 2, 2011 8:33 am

    You’re linking to a RED SOCK blogge!?!?!? That is an OUTRAGE!!!

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