Skip to content

More from the poetic justice files

April 17, 2013

besubaru_3

Happy National Haiku Day! Alas, seventeen syllables is about sixteen more than the Cardinals’ performance against A.J. Burnett and the Pirates tonight deserved (okay, fine: Thank God for Beltran,/and no Adrian Johnson/to call his ball foul!), so let’s instead stay here in SoCal and revisit a poetic subject we had some fun with a year ago: The Los Angeles Angels of Anemic Aprils.

Yes, the Halos are off to another expensively excruciating start, with only one more win than a haiku has lines, and the Angel fans have responded with volumes of accidental verse in their online commentary. As always, some of them are cold, hard truth-tellers:

Its officially
the worst start to a season
since we were founded.

Clayton Kershaw has
more HRs than Mike Trout and
Hamilton combined*

For one day, perhaps
only one day, we can’t call
the Astros Lastros.

aNGELS PITCHING SUCKS! -_-
You can’t win, when the staff gives

up ALOT of runs!!

Others adopted a more personal, emotional style in their poems:

Um. Pathetic. These
guys are baseball players right?
#BadAnglesBaseball

The most sickening
3 games I have ever watched
as an Angels fan

Yesterday I said
we would be the laughing stock
of baseball. We are.

ohhh my god, i miss
scott shields and k-rod. this team
 make me wanna cry.

Just as last year’s poets turned their wrath upon Albert Pujols (who’s off to a good start in 2013 despite having trouble with his [poetic] feet), many of this year’s crop fixed their disapproving gazes upon Josh Hamilton and the decision-makers who purchased his services rather than improving the Angels’ pitching:

i guess anaheim
is just not a baseball town,
josh will cry again

They needed pitching,
they needed relief help, they
signed…Josh Hamilton.

The Angels replaced
Torii Hunter with a guy
who needs a guide dog

Some reached into the world of pop culture to capture the Angel experience (or to provide an alternative to it):

I thought Walking Dead
had their finale last week,
guess it was tonight.

These guys suck. They look
like the Durham Bulls at the
start of “Bull Durham.”

I get so pissed, I
turn it to watch “Cupcake Wars.”
I know….don’t judge me.

And one lone optimist went to his or her inner Zen place and found consolation:

At least we are off
to a better start than the
Miami Marlins.

Yes. Yes, they are….put down that wakizashi!

* Accurate when penned.
Team Hamilton-Trout now leads
Kershaw, three to one.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: